And everything was going so well. Plans had been made to build mom a new house. The old house had been emptied, the sale on track. Things were looking good, the change that all of us wanted and needed were on track. Then she was gone, unexpected and suddenly she was gone.
This is not the first loss in my family that I have had to cope with. I have lost all of my grandparents, a cousin, my father, a brother. This one is different, this is the first time I have had to deal with it outside the realm of grieving witness. This time I have had to pick up the ball and plan the details, and tie up the loose ends that everyone leaves behing when they die. I was very close to my mom so emotionaly it has been hard on me as well as all of her children and friends. She was a well known and a well liked person both in New Orleans and in Mobile. I have had to put the grief behind a facade in order to take care of the business of death. In a way it has been good, I feel like I am still taking care of her even though she is gone. I also realize that I have to be strong in order to help others cope. I know my efforts have been appreciated by others and I am sure that mom would be proud of me. There is always a feeling of I should have done more, or if I had done this or that this day may not have come so soon.
There is a lot of irony to this situation, at Christmas the entire family was together for the first time in about 15 years. We were all together to celbrate mom’s 75 birthday. Who knew that we would all be together again a month later for her funeral. Life is strange and sometimes seems cruel.